Disclaimer: Story is unsuitable for children and may be unsuitable for people of a nervous disposition, due to the use of strong language and graphic images.
‘Commencing interview at sixteen, thirty-two. Ok, can you tell me about the events leading up to you arriving in the park earlier today? Where had you and your friends been?’
‘Yeah, we’d met earlier in the Dog and Duck on Farnborough Road, about twelve o’clock.’
‘And how many of you met in the Dog and Duck?’
‘Well, there was me, Dave and Barry.’
‘Three of you, then?’
‘Yeah, the three of us.’
‘Were you all drinking in the Dog and Duck?’
‘Yeah, we had a few.’
‘A few, what, pints? Pints of what?’
‘Lagers, mainly. Barry likes a cider, though.’
‘So, you stayed in the Dog and Duck drinking all afternoon?’
‘Yeah, till around four. But then we all decided to go down to the Tipsy Gent. They have a big screen in the lounge, and we wanted to watch the footy Euros.’
‘The Tipsy Gent?’
‘Yeah, it’s on the corner of Bellingham Rd, opposite the park.’
‘Ah, right. So, you say you all left the Dog and Duck at around four. What happened next?’
‘We had just about crossed the park, when we saw him.’
‘Saw who?’
‘That bloke on the telly; the professor.’
‘And what was he doing?’
‘Just walking on his own.’
‘And what happened next?’
‘Dave thought it would be funny to get a video with him, so we ran over. Dave put his arm round him and started filming him with his phone, but I could see the geezer didn’t like it.’
‘How could you tell he didn’t like it?’
‘Well, he was trying to get away from Dave, sort of wriggling about. He looked a bit upset.’
‘Then what happened?’
‘Dave tried to stop the fella from getting away and held him in sort of a headlock to stop him escaping. That’s when it all went mental.’
‘Ok, I can see this is distressing for you, but I need you to tell me exactly what happened.’
‘Well, everything suddenly changed. He changed.’
‘What do you mean, he changed?’
‘The professor, he changed. He knew things, man. I mean, he had all the moves. Not just like karate moves, but locks and holds. I could hear things snapping and breaking. It was fucking horrible!’
‘Ok. Try and calm down. Take your time. Try and tell me what happened next.’
‘Dave was kneeling on the floor in front of the professor. He was screaming and holding his hands over his face, like this. I could see blood covering his hands.’
‘What was the professor doing at this point?’
‘Just standing there, over Dave. He had his back to me and then he kind of looked round, over his shoulder and smiled. It was freaky, man.’
‘What do you mean it was freaky?’
‘He was grinning like, really fucking freaky, and that’s when he did it.’
‘Ok, try and stay calm. In your own time, I need you to tell me exactly what you saw the professor do.’
‘Well, he turned around real slow, and then suddenly, he shot out his hand towards my face and, God, I can still see them!’
‘What did you see?’
‘I saw, Dave’s fucking eyes at the end of the professor’s fingers! He started chasing after Barry with them still on his fingers. Like on fucking stalks. Wriggling them about all the time, laughing.’
‘And what did you do then?’
‘I ran. I ran. I just fucking ran.’
‘Suspending interview at sixteen, thirty-nine. You’ve obviously had a traumatic day. Let’s take a break for a while. We’ll see about getting you some food. But what I will say, off the record; maybe next time, others like you will think twice about harassing a Chief Medical Officer?’
© 2021
Jolyon Walford 